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Givers And Takers In A Relationship


Givers versus takers

What is the basis of people who love each other so much that they are prepared to make ongoing sacrfices for each other? This question is more pertinent more than ever before with Western society lauding the virtues of so called true love but at the same time is plagued with the highest divorce rates in history.

Western society emphasizes taking but the basis of love is giving. According to one sage a taker aspires to draw anything within his reach to himself without giving anything in return. This is done even when there is nothing to be gained except rejoicing in the failure of one’s neighbour. A taker operates on a win-loose mentality where there is no corporation but only competition where ultimately no one gains.

A giver on the other hand puts himself into others.

The more he gives then the more he sees himself in the other person. In other words he gives of himself to make the greater whole. He is a win-win person who rejoices at the success of others. This is because he see himelf as part of the person he has given to so nothing is ever lost.

It is this which is the basis of true love. A person comes invariably to love the person to whom he has given to. The distinction between that person and the one to whom he has given to is blurred into both merge into one. Giving therefore satiates the person because he is increasing more complete. He is living for his partner and not merely for himself.

It is this which allows marriages to not only survive but evern flourish in adverse conditions. This is because a true giver does not see his life partner as a mere tool to fulfil his desires. If anything adversity inspires a giver to give more if the needs of his spouse is not being met.

A taker on other hand is never satisfied because he merely yearns for something solely because it is beyond his reach. Once he has it he no longer appreciates it and yearns for somehing else. Then the whole pattern repeats itself as the more the person has then the more he wants something until he goes to the grave frustrated and more hungry than ever before. Within this context a taker views his spouse merely as a means to met his needs which often are never ending. Under such conditions not only do people never establish a true relationship but any such relationship is easily destroyed by even the most minor of inconveniences.

So whether you are dating, engaged and married, remember you have a choice. Are you are giver or a taker? Do you merely think of yourself and only end up living a lonely meaningless life or do you think of others? Make the right choice.

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