Addressing Fixation: Sometimes people want others more merely because they have been rejected by them. It is this inaccessibility which intrinsically creates more desire. As this desire is not based on anything tangible then it can be reduced by ironically starving it. In other words, the less you think of the person then the less you will want them. What people find so difficult is that they often suffer from tunnel vision. Anything they do, say or think invariably reminds them of the person who rejected them. To address this you should start shifting your mind set in small incremental steps which invariably involve ignoring the person or better still avoiding them completely. Once you gather momentum, though, it gets progressively easier.

Reframing: The pain of rejection is often exacerbated by conferring attributes on the other person which simply do not exist. This is particularly true if the object of your desire is physically attractive, wealthy or famous. The resulting "halo effect" creates the tendency to "fill in the gaps" so to speak with desirable personality traits which often the other party does not have. To address this keep a look out for any negative behaviour. Does your would be partner brag about you to others for example? Are you judged solely by circumstances? If so then this is indicative of underlying character flaws which makes a rejection a blessing in disguise.

Room for Growth: People who have low self esteem, lack networking skills, experience and so forth believe that a rejection is a reflection upon them. Though a rejection is hardly a definitive statement about a person’s self worth, it still may be helpful to solicit feedback when possible. Such feedback may often by irrelevant and at times even painful but there may be sliver of information which may be beneficial irrespective of the intentions of the other party.

Avoid negative responses: When you are rejected, the intrinsic response is negative, be it anger, revenge, panic and so forth. Think before you act. Is this how you wish to project yourself to someone else? Remember, don’t control the person –control your reactions to that person. See this as a test of your character. The true test of any individual is how they behave when things go wrong. So do not pursue this person as this is harassment. Instead use this as an opportunity to show who you really are and gain respect by exercising restraint. Step back emotionally and weigh up what to do next. The world is full of so many opportunities. Things can turn 180 degrees in an instant

So why destroy your quality of life for a one off rejection?

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